


Nothing Gay Going On Here

by WickedHeadache



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Jonah thinks the whole thing is hilarious, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29531514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedHeadache/pseuds/WickedHeadache
Summary: Four times Jonah caught Leslie and Tina in the act.
Relationships: Leslie Dean/Tina Minoru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	Nothing Gay Going On Here

**Author's Note:**

> I found this old senior deanoru draft and thought it was funny. So I'm posting it. Hope you like it.

**i.**

The first time he catches them, Jonah can't help it. He laughs out loud. He watches Leslie jump off from on top of Tina, startled by the intruder. Jonah's mind is brilliant, he has considered each obstacle that could stall his way back home. He has meticulously planned each second of each minute, thought through every possibility, but he would've never believed _this_.

Leslie looks at him, eyes wide and fearful. It's amusing, really.

“What- what are you doing here?” She asks him. Jonah catches a small trembling in her voice. Poor thing, his Leslie.

While Leslie fidgets with her hands, terrified of the consequences this betrayal may bring upon, Tina just looks every bit of wanting to vanish from the faze of Earth. She has pulled the sheets up to her collarbone as she keeps a hand covering her eyes.

“I thought we could spend some time together,” he tells her, looking back and forth between both of them. He doesn't know how to keep himself from bursting in laughter once again. “But I see you're otherwise occupied.”

“Jonah-”

Jonah smiles at her. She's so afraid of angering him. It's truly so adorable.

Leslie is so young, barely twenty-six years old. She's a human toddler, a baby who just learned how to walk. He can allow her to have some fun, as long as it doesn't distract her from more important matters. 

Jonah glances at Tina and doesn't even try to bite back a smirk of amusement. Now, _that_ surprises him. The other baby human female glares at him for daring to interrupt their activities. He didn't know Tina had it in her. On Leslie, it isn't shocking — he has made sure of that. But Tina, so tied down to this planet's societal norms… Let's just say it makes for great blackmail material.

Then he purses his lips. It isn't that useful at the moment, though. Maybe another time.

“Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I'll leave you two to it,” he can't help the taunting tone in his voice. “Have fun.”

Leslie gapes at his back as he walks away from the office. As soon as he closes the door behind him, he lets out a cackle. He doesn't think this will ever stop being funny to him.

Later, he spots Tina rushing her way out of the Church, a half-ashamed half-satisfied look on her face. He can't help the snicker that escapes him as he observes her run away. Humans, honestly.

**ii.**

Frank is such a sad human being with his mind wiped, Jonah decides one regular Tuesday afternoon. He hears some throaty moans coming from Leslie's office, recognizing they belong to his girl instantly. Leslie has always been a loud one. She and Tina have been at it for thirty minutes now. The most amusing thing about it is that Frank is not too far away from there, talking to Vaughn.

Jonah knows he shouldn't let himself be seen, lest risk that Frank may recognize him despite his lack of memories. But he's been so bored lately, and there's always the possibility that one of Pride members had done something stupid and attempted to hide it from him. Besides, people don't really pay attention to him if he isn't around Leslie, with the exception of a few pretty women glancing at him every once in a while.

He hears another loud moan from Leslie, and he can't help but feel impressed by how talented human women can be. Despite the humanity.

If he's honest with himself, he had believed this little game of theirs had come to an end a while back. In fact, he had imagined that right after that one time he caught them in the act, they would've stopped. He knows Leslie, she wouldn't have risked the possibility of somebody else finding out.

Apparently, she isn't as smart as she seems. It's like she lost all sense of subtlety. Jonah has to remind her of soundproofing that office later. 

After a particularly noisy yelp that he believes comes from Tina, Jonah sighs and pounds on the door, noticing they become quiet immediately. “The entire hallway could hear you. Tone it down, yeah?” He says with a roll of his eyes and a small chuckle.

There's some mumbling inside, and then the door opens slightly, enough for Leslie to take a look outside. “Sorry,” she says, gaze lowering shyly.

“Well, hello, sweetheart,” he takes notice of her rumbled hair and bruised lips. The door covers the rest of her, possibly naked, body. “Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?”

Leslie's lips curl upwards as she rolls her eyes. “No one heard us, right?"

“Not yet,” he tells her with an explicative voice. “But they will if you keep up like this.”

“Right,” she sighs, doing that facial expression he sees in humans sometimes but that he can't figure out what it means yet. It's not sadness, he muses, and it doesn't seem to be frustration. He shrugs, not caring enough to give it a try. “Thanks,” she gives her one of those meaningful looks that mean nothing to him and closes the door as she gets back inside.

To be fair, he doesn't hear a thing afterwards.

**iii.**

“You are sleeping with him, aren't you?” He catches Tina saying one night. He stops on his tracks and stays in the hallway, vaguely interested in this particular conversation. For all he knows, Leslie has never mentioned the nature of their relationship to anyone.

“Who?” Leslie asks, confused. It has to be an act, Jonah thinks. His girl is more perceptive than that.

“Jonah.”

Leslie sighs, like it weighs her to talk about it. “Why so curious?”

“I'll take that as a yes.”

“Since when are you so interested in talking?” She says. “You usually have your attention on far our... physical activities.”

Jonah notices instantly that teasing tone of hers. She always uses it on him when she doesn't want to sound angry. It's called deflection, a common practice within humans in this world. He searched on the internet for human behavior patterns to check on what he hadn't caught on yet and that was part of the list.

So many years stuck in this planet, and there is still so much he has to learn about it. He almost doesn't want to waste time on it. He'll be back home with his family soon. However, he's not an idiot. He _needs_ to be familiar with this species if he wants to control them successfully, like he has so far.

He catches the sound of kissing and something hitting the desk and then the floor, and he guesses Leslie's plan succeeded. He can't really blame Tina for falling for it, if he's being honest. He likes that girl too much not to fall into her charms himself.

He goes back to his little room without too much of a care about anything. He knows he won't be able to sleep much with those two in that office at this hour. At least they have chosen to have sex at a time when the Church is empty. He takes a walk after a while, drinks some coffee, sits down behind the desk of some secretary with his feet up resting in it.

It is around that time that he sees Tina walk out of the office, looking composed for somebody that has just screamed her lungs out. She pulls her purse close to herself as she passes him, not without shooting him a dirty look.

Oh, he thinks with a quirk of his brow, those are some strong feelings. He smiles smugly at her and waves his hand at her. She looks away. How has this little affair gotten even funnier?

Humans are quite the entertaining creatures, he decides as he spins around in his chair.

**iv.**

The fourth time Jonah finds Leslie and Tina in a sexual situation, he keeps quiet.

At first, it's because he's bored and spying on Leslie and Tina seems like good enough entertainment. But later on, he begins to narrow his eyes with suspicion. He senses something is off with those two.

Leslie is writhing under Tina, eyes tightly shut, and, by the sound of it, she's coming. Tina lies down next to her, caressing her forearm with a finger and the softest look on her face. Jonah doubts he has ever seen such fondness on Tina's side directed towards anyone.

That, he decides, is trouble.

  
  



End file.
